Saturday, August 30, 2008

Giving Him Wings

Well, for all of you who have been following the saga of Maestro going off to school this week, I thought I'd take a moment and update you.

We made it through it all, which is a good thing. However, I've not given myself the permission to just breakdown and cry out the anxiety I've had about it all. Consequently, I have a cold sore on my mouth the size of Rhode Island. It may get it's own zip code soon.

Thursday morning dawned early here and Maestro was very excited about getting to go to school. We ate a nice healthy breakfast of cereal and yogurt. The boys were not at all amused to have to reduce their morning tv viewing time since I wanted them to have more time to play together. The anxiety started to get to all of us, and so we went on a long bike ride to work out some of their not-so-pent up craziness. This brought us to our new very early lunch time. I'm not crazy about having to eat lunch at 11:00 am, but this is the time he needs to eat to get down to the bus stop on time.

Grammy arrived to take Little Red out to lunch and over to the local orchard to feed the ducks that congregate there. He had a wonderful time, this is his first time EVER being without us. That was two big milestones in one day for our little family unit. Music Man came home and ate lunch as he wanted to go to school with us as well. We waited down by the end of the driveway for the bus, which was a bit later then expected as the driver was learning her new route. I rode the bus to school with Maestro, who had never been on a bus before, so that was high adventure for him. He especially loved how "bouncy" it was on the bumps. It gave me flashbacks of the immeasurable hours I spent on the bus as a child driving from our hometown many miles to the closest middle and high school. Funny how these moments take you back. I really did not like riding the bus at all, I was tortured on the ride to school because I was one of the last people on and no one would let me sit down as the bus was already over capacity by then. The driver would not move until I sat down, so most of the time, I would just perch on literally 2 inches of seat the many miles to school. Good thing I rode horses, those big thigh muscles came in handy!!

So, we got to school and disembarked from the bus and found our way to Maestro's classroom. His teacher is a no nonsense lady who's been teaching for, in her words "over a hundred years". Music Man arrived a few minutes after us and we worked together to find Maestro's little places in his new world. He had a great time playing with toys and shyly checking out the other kids. The new teacher, we'll call her Mrs. Anklebiter, read them a story and went over a few rules with us newbie parents and that was the end of his first day of school. Then, he and Music Man got on the bus to go home. The ride home for him is 50 minutes long. This is a VERY long time since we only live about 4 1/2 miles from the school. Yowser!

That was day one. No tears, nothing like that. In actuality, it really eased my mind about his surroundings, teacher, other kids, bus ride, the list goes on. I'm eternally thankful for our hometown for arranging such a day to ease the kids (and parents!) into this huge milestone gently.

Day one by himself was a little harder. He got on the bus without so much as a look back. I said "goodbye!, have a good day, Sweetie!" to him. He's too young to be embarrassed by such motherly smooshiness and I'm gonna give it while I can. In any case, I stayed at the bottom of the driveway until the bus went by again with his little soul on board, waving for all I was worth. I watched that bus drive away until I couldn't see it anymore, and the tears started to fall. I was able to shed a few before my neighbor came over to talk. She had just put her son on the bus with Maestro and she was just wanting to see how it was for me and make sure I was okay. I still have not let myself absorb it yet. I was folding his new school clothes the other day out of the dryer and getting all weepy and thinking that this is the new era of our family. I'm happy that so far he seems okay with it all, but it's been hard for me to release him and trust the world, I've not quite accomplished that yet.

When he arrived home, he was quieter then usual, he's usually a non-stop talker (just like his wonderful Daddy!). After a little bit, he told us about a new friend he met on the bus. A girl that lives up the road from our turn off. He was happy to tell me about her and her family. It made my heart warm to hear him making friends. He's had a bit of a solitary life here with us because there are not many stay at home moms and families in our area that are available to play with. And I've always sort of chosen his friends for him by the people that I'm friends with. So, it was interesting to hear that he's chosen a friend for himself. It's a new day for us all.

Anyways, at some point, I will have a good cry about it all and then I will continue on with a brave face. It's the brain that's behind the face that shows that's hard to convince. I'll get there and let my little man go out in the world and pray that he will be okay and happy and healthy and loved. It's all I can do so that don't drive myself insane. More on Little Red's daily life now that big bro is away a little later. These two days were really Maestro's, and that's the direction we'll leave it for now.

Letting go just a little ~Peacemom

1 comment:

aseaman said...

Well, Peacemom, you made it! adn, as time passes it will become easier and easier, I promise. Thanks for the update! Aseaman