Friday, April 19, 2013

Taking Stock

I woke at 5:01 this morning, restless and unable to settle down. As is habit, I decided to turn on the radio on my MP3 player to NPR and listen to the news. It was then that I learned that one Boston Marathon bomber was dead and the manhunt was on for a second.  Cambridge was where it all began about 10:30 last night when these two, brothers these, robbed a 7-11 and the terror ensued for so many people in that moment.  A police officer was killed, another critically wounded.  My heart literally stopped as I looked over at my dear husband, sleeping soundly next to me.  I had an overwhelming rush of thanks to God as I put my hand on his warm arm and looked at his peaceful face. 

See, my husband, partner, father of my children was in Cambridge at 10:30 last night, watching a show at a club with a friend of his.  It is not something he does very often anymore.   I had a rush of emotions as I realized that he so easily could have been at the 7-11 stopping for a soda for the ride home, or on the street when a fire fight broke out.  I woke him gently to tell him the news.  He was across town from where it all took place.  They had noticed a distinct lack of traffic when they left the club, but did not know why, taking it as stroke of good luck as traffic can be a bear at times in the city.  I silently remembered telling him before he left home that I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for him to be going to the city after what happened Monday.   He had assured me he would be fine.  I paused for a moment for a quick prayer for his safety after I kissed him good bye.  Since a dear friend lost her husband years ago in a car accident, we don't let the other leave without a sincere, look-you-in-the-eyes goodbye, I love you and a kiss.  Life can change in an instant and without warning, I know it to be true.

I had the thought that I didn't want my children in school today.  I wanted them home with me.  Of course, it's not really a rational thought, is it?  But after the terror of Monday, not so distant from a school shooting that took 26 lives, and now this, it didn't matter to me if it was rational or not.  I had to talk myself down from that ledge.  We are a bit of a distance from Boston up here in southern New Hampshire, and it's not realistic to think that the man or his associates, for I am sure it was not just the two of them acting alone, would come to my children's school.  But after having had my husband down in Cambridge in harm's way, it took me a little while.  I rely on my faith in these circumstances, and was able to calm down enough to be sure the kids were fed, had on clean clothes, brushed their teeth and were ready to meet the day.  I told them briefly about what happened, not beleaguering the point that their father had been down there.  The asked some questions and we were on to breakfast and other topics.

I made the mistake of checking facebook and some of the folks on my friend list don't live here and aren't steeped in the horror of it all.  My niece goes to school at Boston University and in fact was near the finish line when the bombs went off.  It's pretty personal to me.  That she could have been hurt or killed and that my husband was in the very place that it continued last night, well, yes, very personal indeed. 

I am someone who believes in the right to own a gun.  My husband hunts and this could provide food for our family.  However, I'm not a person who believes that any form of automatic weapon belongs on anyone but the military and police (and I'm not sure about my support of that except that in those times, I suppose it's necessary).  I've been patient with people's comments about the right to bear arms, and heck, I'd just blow the bastard away with my AK47, things like that.  I feel very trampled by those comments today.  Because, I realized that they feel justified in their view, it's a them or me mentality.  Putting 100 bullets into one person would kill them sure, but what about the scores of other innocent people who would go down with them as a result of that? And if we all have those weapons of mass killing firing at each other, does that justify it all?  Makes me sick to my stomach and sad for my children that this is the world they are inheriting.  I won't be here forever and this is what I have brought them into and left for them.  I don't even know what to say to them about it, how to comfort them and mean it in my heart. 

I'm a bit all over the place with my emotions today.  I also woke to have one of my chickens dead this morning.  Tulip, the first we've lost and I'm not ashamed to say, I cried for her.  And cried as a release of the fear for my husband's safety and sorrow for my children's world, and I softly said a prayer for all of them.  It's been quite a roller coaster of emotions here for me today.

Unsettled, ~Peacemom

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Cub Scout Fishing Derby

Today was the Pack 163 Fishing Derby pack meeting.  The pond only had ice out last week, so the water is still cold and the fish were elusive, but the boys had a good time anyways.

The boys getting a lesson on how to cast from Mr. Dave.

Maestro dusting off the casting skills.

Little Red learning the art of threading the worm onto the hook...eeewwww....

The dads all tackling up the lines.

It was a fun way to spend some time outdoors enjoying the boys and each others company today, even if the biggest catch of the day was a leaf!

Wishing you fishing adventures on your shores, ~Peacemom

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Spring Beach Day

The boys had early release from school yesterday, ending their pursuit of organized academia at 12:30.  On these days, I try to plan something fun for them to do, make it a bit more special then every other day.  We used to always go out to lunch at our favorite Chinese food restaurant, but unfortunately, it recently closed for business.  So, I needed to come up with something else for their entertainment.  It was a beautiful sunny day with just a touch of breeze, so I thought what better way to spend the afternoon then at the beach!

What follows are a few pictures of a chilly but fun afternoon spent at the beach with my boys, cold water be damned!  Up here in New England, we'll go in the water no matter what the temperature is.  Luckily, the boys are actually splashing about it tide pools that have been sitting warming in the sun bringing them to a temp that doesn't make the arches of your feet hurt because they are so New Englanders know what I mean by that, don't you? Hope you enjoy the sun and waves and boys.



Spring has indeed arrived when we can hit the beach in shorts, even if they need to be accompanied by a winter coat and hat! 

Thankful for melting snow and sunny days, ~Peacemom