Saturday, December 10, 2011

It's Over

There's something I've had too many opportunities in my life to discover and am going through it again now.  The stages of grief  are not actually stages.  They cycle, you see.  You will experience the anger, sadness, fear and acceptance in waves as you're working through your grief.  Yesterday was anger and fear, today is sadness and acceptance, tomorrow will be another wave and for the months, and indeed years, the cycle will continue, gradually lessening over time.

The real tragedy in my mind and soul is that after a while, you have to shut yourself down to emotions all together, even the good ones because you can't mentally handle the disappointment, fear, anger and sadness of it all.  You try to force yourself right into acceptance, because anything else is just too painful.  But the side affect of that is that you also don't allow the joy, happiness and contentment in, mostly because it's been my experience that they are dangerous places to dwell and will indeed pass.  It is safer just not to feel things.

We've had a big blow here this week, I promise, once I'm able, I will talk about it.  For now, this is the thoughts in my head.  I implore you, please be thankful for what you have that's stable in your life, stability is a great place to reside.

Riding the wave, ~Peacemom


Candace said...

I'm so sorry, Vonnie. I pray you find peace and joy soon. You are in my thoughts and prayers. *hugs* Candace

Peacemom said...

Thank you, Candace. Perhaps we've got to move to Mississippi, huh? Thanks for the prayers, it is appreciated.