Monday, October 24, 2011
Feeling quite disheartened today. Life's been throwing me some deep doo for the pile lately. House purchase is dragging along, so frustrating and we're beginning to wonder if all these hurdles we keep encountering with this place are a bigger sign of why NOT to buy it. Deep and total frustration has replaced any excitement we had about owning this place. It will make someone a great home, we're just not quite sure it's going to be us. Music Man and I are completely and totally mentally and physically exhausted with the long 5 month process we've already been through. We have spent every weekend there working on this house for a month now, invested money into it, and we don't own it yet. All trying to get it to the point where the only type of loan we can get for it, a rehab loan, will let it qualify. Our amazing realtor, who is also our dear friend, has been just unbelievable in his time, expertise, hard work and patience. He's been the leader of the renovations and knee deep in all the dirt with us, dirty hands, sore muscles and all. He's living proof to us that God works through people in our lives when we most need them. We could never repay him for his efforts and are feeling badly that, if this house falls through, he will have done it for nothing. Except as we all have brought the barn, that was so badly falling down, to saving. That piece of history will live on, and whether we own it or not, we can say we had a hand in saving it. That's a cool thing.
A call from my sister on Saturday night informed me that a person very dear to our family is in the final stages of terminal cancer and was given a week to live. There's not really words to express how this is affecting my heart and phsyche at this point in time. I feel so badly for him, but also for his daughter and son and all the people who care as deeply for him as I do. He is a wonderful, kind, brave man who has done a lot for a lot of people and I can't really process the fact that he's really going. He's been in my life and family since I was 12 years old. He's rallied against this horrible disease in the last year, went through some painful and, let's face it, crappy experimental chemo that allowed us to have him for a bit longer then we would have otherwise. But, now he's really going and I'm not able to process this. The pit to sorrow is too deep for me to allow it in right now, I know it will come soon.
So, things are tough right now at the Casa de Peaceable Kingdom. Drawing from faith, friends and family right now to keep leaning forward.