Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Thankfulness and Grace

As I sit here tonight, listening to Music Man read some fun stories to the little anklebiters, I'm struck by how thankful I am for my little family unit. Thanksgiving's proximity surely has something to do with that, but lately, I've been feeling very thankful.

Music Man has a job. It's not the job he'd prefer, or even one he likes very much, but as I am, he is thankful to be employed. In this time of uncertainty, for all that are gainfully employed, it's a good time to focus on the fact that bringing home the bacon is a reward unto itself. Since he's been laid off so many times, it's truly a blessing for us that he's working in a company that seems to be plenty busy. He's on mandatory overtime, which is also helping us with the upcoming Christmas giving. I'm making the majority of my gifts this year, but there are the few things that Santa will need help obtaining, and that will be ever so helpful.

I'm so very thankful for the blessing of Music Man's love in my life. It took me a long time to find him, but boy, was he worth the wait. I can't really begin to express how I've grown as a human since meeting him. Not only that I've learned to compromise, listen more, love more deeply, appreciate the small things that come with a long term relationship, and the security of sleeping next to him every night. It's also that I've learned to let go of things that held my heart in the past, to forgive myself for mistakes I've made and to forgive other people for their mistakes as well. We're all just people trying to get through our lives with some semblance of meaning to our days. But, back to Music Man...he's generous, loving, compassionate, and on top of all that he's a great father and husband as well. This is always a work in progress for him since his role model for these things was less then terrific. But, he was lucky in his life to have uncles and a grandfather that taught him a lot about this, and for that I know, he is thankful.

I am also thankful for the blessings of my two boys. Words can't really describe how wonderful they are and how much I have grown as a person since becoming their mother. There are the things about motherhood that I don't especially cherish when I'm in the moments, like taking 10 months to potty train Little Red, or the amount of patience it takes not to have a knee jerk reaction to one of them back talking me, things like that. But, they have also allowed my heart to grow bigger by just being here to love them. I remember when my niece was born (she's now 11). I stood in her nursery watching her sleep, and wondered with a deep internal ache, when would it be my turn? When would I find the man I was supposed to build my family with? Would it even happen, or was that a dream that would be unfulfilled? So, you see why I'm thankful every day for the blessings I have been given of this partner in my life. And these wonderful children to love and care for. Healthy, smart, intelligent, sometimes completely exasperating children. I had so much love to give and was afraid I would never be able to. Now, here they are, and it is all so worth the wait to have them surrounding me. I went through some rough times to get here, but I'm even thankful for those since they brought me to the appreciation of what I have that I may not have realized otherwise. I know how lucky I am and how good I have it and I don't forget it, ever.

I'm thankful for a warm home and food on the table (and overflowing pantry!) and cars that get us where we need to go safely. I know these are all things that most people have, but I don't take them for granted. Even when the situation here isn't ideal, such as when our neighbors are being idiots, I'm still thankful for this warm home. So many are without even that basic necessity, and my heart goes out to them. I feel that even moreso now that the days are turning colder.

So, in this holiday season of counting our blessings, there are so many to be thankful for. I'm physically basically healthy (with a few hiccups along the way), I have passions in my life that keep me going on even tough days, I have a stick-to-iteveness that lets me get most of what I set out to accomplish in life, and that stubborn streak in me gets things done as well. I'm even thankful for my husband's packratness that drives me to distraction, for without that in my life, there would be no wonderful warm partner to brave this world with (though, Honey, I could do without the procrastination thing!). In any case, my life is full of riches, not monetary, but we're getting by. Riches of the most important kind, good and loving friends, a wonderful family (here in my home and extended as well) and love to cover us all. Happy Thanks-giving, please take a moment and count your blessings as well. It's a great way to pass some time, and guaranteed to make you feel warm and cozy inside.

Blessing and Thankfulness to you, ~Peacemom

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