Monday, August 10, 2009

Pontifications and such

Hi Ya'll!

This was a weekend of productivity. Music Man and I were able to get a very large part of the garage cleared out from boxes and furniture we've not had time to put away yet. Felt really good to finally make some progress on that 6 weeks after we moved in. And, Music Man took the boys to the tall ships on Saturday and I was able to get some very much needed time alone. I'm just worn out from unpacking, keeping a house running, caring for two boys full time while I'm also working almost full time. Just plain tuckered out. So, it was nice to have a few hours where I was not needed for anything other then what tasks I assigned myself. It was a breath of fresh air to my world.

I've been trying very hard to do more and more living in the moment and trying not to judge situations, but to see them for the facts that they are. One such situation is that our old house still is not rented. I have been battling a lot of emotions over this that run the gamut from anger, helplessness, disbelief and a bit of panic as we can't afford to basically pay two mortgages for very long. So, I am angry because we are on our third set of tenants that backed out on us. For various reasons (wanted to be closer to "town", not the right time to move after all, etc), they have taken time and energy away from showing and renting our place to people who might have stayed there. The last ones wasted 3 weeks of precious time waffling until they finally decided they just didn't want to move right now. I understand that people's circumstances change, whatever, but to have taken three weeks of our time to decide this, in the time of year when people are moving for school was very angering. I am confounded by people's lack of regard for others. We've not had may bites as of yet for reasons I'm about to expound on.

I am also angry because we listened to advice in the know about what to charge for rent (we were initially WAY too high, but didn't figure that out right away), and wasted time with that. It's just been much more of a stressor in our lives then we ever anticipated. Now, we've dropped the rent three times and still no bites. And this place is very pretty and in good shape. I don't say this as the owner and part of the team that did the work to get it way. Lots of other people think the same thing.

Frustrating...then...I try very hard to release the thoughts that are causing the anger and just accept that this is what is. I approached it differently, reworded the ad, etc and am trying a new way to accomplish this task. If nothing else, it's given me a peaceful sense of the situation I had not had before, and for that I am grateful. I'm trying to just feel the faith that brought us to this move in the first place and allow the light of that to shine through. It's all a work in progress.

I spent some time on our front deck this weekend, enjoying the birds, the beautiful surroundings, the whineys of the horses and crows of the roosters in our "neighborhood", reading in the cool breeze and sunshine and just listening to my little corner of the world. It was a healing time for me as I've not spent enough time in the being lately, but too much in the worrying. As I said, it's all a work in progress.

Please send some positive energy to get a warm body in that condo soon! ~Peacemom

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Blueberries, Heat and a Little Bit of Autumn

Hello All!

Went blueberry picking in the incredible heat and humidity yesterday with a dear friend and her daughter. We were all covered in sweat when we were done, but I've got a beautiful $9.00 worth of blueberries to freeze. Four or so cups will grace a pie in January. There's not much to compare to a blueberry pie made with berries you picked last summer, crust from scratch while you're watching the snow fall. It brings you a bit of a summer warmth and memories when you take a bite and taste some blueberries you picked with your own hands (or little hands helped you pick!) back in August. If you don't have that option, you'll have to believe that it's just one of life's little pleasures that can't compare. No blueberry shipped from Mexico or wherever will ever taste as sweet. I implore you, take advantage of the fruits of your local produce while you can, it's better for you and certainly better for the planet, and will provide your own bit of summer in January deep freeze.

Blueberry picking was unbelievably hot, and the youngest two of our crew were ready to be done long before their mothers were. And I will admit to actually turning on the air conditioning in the van when I got back in. That's not something I feel the need to do often, but yesterday, it was seriously welcome relief. Some days, all you want is an ice cold coke and some air conditioning, and there's nothing wrong with that either!

On another note, I work most of my hours in the little sunroom on the back of our new house. It smells a little musty and dog-like from the last tenants, but I love this little room just the same. I get to work in fresh air and sunshine without the bother of copious bugs, and I'm at peace in that space. I have seen a mink, a young deer and turkeys from this room in the short time we've been here, as more wildlife travels in the dawn and dusk and that's when I'm hard at work on my new laptop. Loving the new laptop SO very much. It allows me a lot more freedom then I used to have with my desktop, makes me wonder why it took so long to talk me into it.

I'm digressing...in any case the most wonderful thing I've seen out those windows is the one branch of about 10 leaves on a maple out back that have turned on their fall glory. Now, I have no idea why they would have done this already, there is nothing else out there with that kind of color show going on. All else is green and in full summer regalia, but that one branch. And I have chosen to fully believe that this is there for me. Because the universe knows how in love I am with AUTUMN, and knows that I start planning fall baking and such in July, and so it decided to give me such a wonderful autumn gift to please my soul. Just one more sign, not that we needed any more, that we are in the right place for whatever story is supposed to be unfolding for us here. Grateful, contented and peaceful describe my heart at the moment and so perhaps that's all that's supposed to happen here. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Wishing you your own little piece of autumn glory...~Peacemom

Friday, July 24, 2009

A Few Things Which Make Me Happy

I have to take a moment to list a few of the things in the moment that are making me happy, so here goes...
1. Blueberry season is upon us. This in and of itself is enough to elicit a big smile from my little face. When my friend and I went to pick berries, we went at 2:00 in the afternoon not realizing that picking ended at 2:00. When my friend got there, they were closing. The people ended up letting us pick for almost an additional hour, without giving us any kind of hassle. This makes me very happy, good customer service. This is our third year picking there and not only am I happy to have local fresh blueberries, but a place that will honor us by staying even when it's not the easiest thing to do. I told him we'd be back, and that our friends will hear about it. So, here I write to my friends. Go, pick blueberries at Derouchers Blueberries in Litchfield, NH if you're near.

2. Canned goods on the shelves of my the root cellar in our new home makes me very happy. Of course the fact that there's fresh local food sitting in jars that I've canned with my own little hands makes me happy, but it's a way of life we've been trying to find for a long time. And now we have it. That makes me immeasurably happy.

3. Blueberry pie sitting on my counter top cooling that my oldest son and I baked together today makes me happy (and hungry!). I know Music Man will be thrilled when he comes home from a long day at the office to fresh made blueberry pie, and that fact makes me happy as well. And the fact that I made a pie crust (NOT my forte) that came out yummy looking is making my little heart sing just a bit. The key is not over working and chilling before you roll the dough out.

4. Our new place of residence is making us all very happy. We've finally settled in a place that feels like home and is cozy and has enough room for us with a lot of land for the boys to live on. We wish we could buy it some day, but it won't be for sale...ever. At least not as long as the owner is alive. But, that's okay, we can stay as long as we want and that makes me happy as well.

5. The fact that my husband and I have jobs makes me very thankful. So many don't now, we have friends who've both been laid off, three weeks apart and they have 2 young children to safeguard. I truly feel for them as we've been in that predicament two times and it's scary and disheartening. So, I'm appreciating the grace that allows me to have the job I have, and remind myself of this in it's less then satisfying moments.

6. On to smaller things that make me happy...all the fresh veggies from the CSA, waking to morning light from our big windows, hearing my boys playing and working together to build a marble run...without fighting, seeing the birds discovering our feeder, just the fact that I can have a feeder here and not have anyone complaining that the birds are pooping on their deck, to not have the constant feeling of oppression by the neighbors at the old place, it gives me a lightness to my soul I've not had since they moved in, the beauty of Brownie's new calf Candy and her long eyelashes and doey eyes. Anyways, the list could go on, but today, for this moment, I'm feeling thankful for the blessings of my life in so many ways. Thought I'd share that with you and wish you gratitude for your blessings as well.

Enjoying the moment, ~Peacemom

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

III'MMMM BBAAAAACCCKKK!

Hello All!

I know, I know it's been forever. But honestly, if you could see the list of things I have to accomplish each and every day, you'd understand why. Since I started working in March, I've not had a whole lot of time to do anything but work and take care of our lovely offspring. I was determined to find a balance, but I think, as my wise friend told me, accept that right now, there is no balance. That's a tough one to concede, but I think I'm beginning to embrace the concept.

Oh, yah, and we moved in that time frame as well. I know most of you know that already, but it's been something not everyone is aware of apparently. Thus far, we've not found a tenant for our old place yet, and we're leaking money like water basically paying two mortgages, so we're making a tough decision about whether to keep trying to rent or try to sell it. Now that we are out of it and emotionally unattached, the decision doesn't feel as tough to me. I'm aware that it's okay if it goes, in fact I would almost welcome it since we've lost SO much money on it, we're just feeling it's a weight and not a blessing anymore. So, we'll see what time will bring.

Last week, I took the boys to the beach. It was MONSTER packed, I don't think I've seen so many people at the beach at one time. Too many rainy days here in NH and everyone is trying to cram the fun into what time we have left of the summer. We also went on Sunday evening so Music Man could go and it was a lovely time. The beach was still pretty crowded by the time we left at about 7:00pm, no one wanted to leave such a beautiful place at a beautiful hour. We were feeling much more relaxed after spending some hours with one of us body surfing (the waves were GREAT!), and all feeling the sand between our toes. There are many ways to recognize God in nature, but surely one of my very favorite is spending some time at the ocean. Rejuvenation and uplifting are the two words that describe it for me most.

I've felt my soul long for and somehow bring me to the ocean at many times in my life. When I was very troubled, when I was happy, when I had a lot of thinking to do over a concern in my life and just plan when I need to have some fun. My life does not have nearly enough fun in it at the moment. Music Man and I have resolved that we are going to make that more of a priority in our lives, not only for our own sake, but for the sake of the two little men pounding on the drums in the garage as I (try to!) write this.

I will say that the day I went with just the boys and I, I was really missing my friend Kristen, who used to be my beach buddy before she moved to Texas (where she has no beaches). She is a wonderful soul, and I miss her in my everyday life. So, I spent a few moments digging in the sand, and thinking about how I wish she were there with me. Life physically splits us from people we love sometimes, but never in our hearts. So, I sent her some warm and loving thoughts from a beach so far away from her, and prayed she could come home to New England soon.

Well, I will try to keep up with this blog more often, but honestly, I just can't promise that right now. I hope you're all happy, healthy and resolving to find a little more fun in your own lives.

Peaceful moments of rejuvenation to you, ~Peacemom

Monday, July 6, 2009

Moved...well almost!

Hello All,

It's been a whirlwind couple of months. I can't even begin to tell you what all has been going on here at Casa de Peaceable Kingdom. We're buried in stress at the moment, but happy to be in our new home.

1. moving did not go as smoothly as expected because we lacked help. The help we had worked like dogs, and for them we are eternally greatful, but wow are we ever tired. It has taken us over a week to get 95% of our belongings here from there.

2. After discovering that too much STUFF has accumulted in our lives in the last 4 1/2 years since our last move, many trips to the GoodWill were made. And, in unpacking, Music Man and I are realizing that we still have more then we'll need anytime soon. Once you own a house, the tools and floatsum & jetsom that accumulates needs to be disposed of once you no longer need them. Problem is, and I've told you all this before, I live with the human packrat...though he's slowly coming around to not needing so much. I really think it's a left over emotion from his childhood when he moved so many times that he was not allowed to accumulate and so is making up for lost time now!

3. The boys have been really wonderful during this process and some family jumped in and helped out with them for the two days of the largest part of the move. It was truly great to know that they were having a good time and not having to deal with watching the only lives they remember getting packed into boxes and trucks. It was a stressful process for them to have to deal with, and I know it's weird for them to see their old house basically empty.

4. I way overdid it last weekend with the move and had some heart problems coming up from the deep dark places to add to the stress factor. Having to drive myself to the ER at 3:30 in the morning, not knowing anyone here in our new town who could sit with the boys at that hour, Music Man had to stay with them. I was okay in the end, it stopped on it's own, but 2 1/2 hours of very irratic heart traffic just plain stunk. Not fun and pretty scary.

5. This past Saturday, we woke up on the 4th of July to a completely toasted computer. Can't retrieve a thing off it at this point. A latent Trojan some idiot infected our computer with. Those people have a place somewhere special waiting for them, just not funny at all. Too much time on their hacking little hands and people who can't afford it have to replace a computer so one half of the income earners can work. Music Man has put some great effort and worry into the darned thing, but it's not happy at all. So we went to Sams and bought a new laptop, which we've been wanting for a while and finally took the plunge. Wasn't in the finances right now, but we have been contemplating getting one for over three years now and since it seems we'd need a new computer, might as well do it now. For the record...I LOVE MY NEW LAPTOP!

6. After not feeling up to much this whole week with some sort of stomach bug for 5 days, the unpacking is coming along so much slower then I hoped. But, I got the upstairs of the old place cleaned and will work on the rest of it this week so that Music Man can paint a few rooms that need freshening up and we'll be renting it soon we hope. Gotta get the income coming in from that or it's gonna get interesting around here!

Well, hopefully I will be able to post a little more often again. Don't know if anyone has been missing my posts, but I've certainly missed having the time, energy and the outlet of this blog.

Peace to you all on this glorious sunny day,


~Peacemom

Monday, June 15, 2009

Moving Day, Rain and Gardens

Guten Tag!

I can't believe it's been so long since I wrote last. My life is currently spiraling out of control with stuff to do and all that's going on. I'm trying my hardest to not let it get me crazy, sometimes that happens when so much is going on. I started to think that I seriously may have lost my mind when I totally spaced my appointment for my mammogram. Totally spaced that I had the appointment because I also had 4 other appointments that week for dentist and doctor and blood work. But, don't worry Ma, I've got another appointment this week already set up, let's just hope I remember that one!

Well, we're fast approaching moving day here at Casa de Peaceable Kingdom. I think for some strange reason, we've been sort of living like it's happening, but not really believing it. Only had about 10 boxes packed as of yesterday (though, I've been to the GoodWill 3 big van full trips already, PURGING! Purging is soooo good!). The kids were not very amused this morning when I went through their toy bins in the living room and basically threw away or recycled or put in the donation pile about 2/3 of the mess in those bins that they NEVER play with. Gone! I know they will be upset the first time they want something from there that they've not touched in 6 months, but I can't bring myself to have the chaos at the new place that has taken over this one and I figure, moving is a great time to take care of all of that nonsense. Now...if I could just get Music Man in the same frame of mind, we'd be doing really well. I've told you all before, he IS the human packrat, and not only is he the human packrat, but he's also a very disorganized packrat. I'm the human minimalist and I'm an organized minimalist, so seeing his chaos and how he can possibly be productive in that environment is a complete mystery to me. I don't embrace that characteristic about him, I've got to be honest. I basically just refuse to make my eyes see into his abyss of mess, even though my washer and dryer face right into it. What can you do? He's got so many great qualities, and who's perfect, right?

Anyways, we're at T minus 11 and counting as moving day is offically to begin on June 26th. We don't have a whole lotta help yet, not hiring movers this time. Not sure how this is gonna work because I am not physically able to lift washing machines and sleeper sofas, so hopefully Music Man can pull off arranging some help. We'll have bbq and cold beers for the help when all is said and done, so maybe that will help.

It's been raining here for a long time. We had a nice sunny day on Saturday, but we're back to rain yesterday and today and it looks like it's gonna continue. Not thrilled about that, but boy we sure did need the rain here, so it's okay. My garden, which I will miss terribly will be happy.

I planted about 1/2 of it before we made the big decision to go, so I'm gonna have to come back and keep it watered and stuff until we get a tenant, who will hopefully appreciate organic lettuce, herbs, peppers and tomatoes. Sniffle, sniffle...it will be the hardest thing for me to let go here. That and the wonderful neighbors we have (save the ones we have to share a wall with). We have a close knit neighborhood and I will miss that...a lot. But we're on to new adventures and hopefully all will go well. Our new landlord seems great so far, has done a lot of work on the house we're renting (it's gonna be weird to rent again, for sure!). But, the new place is great and so much of what we've been looking for in our lives and the school is just perfect for Maestro, it's gonna be good.

We got to pick up our first part of our share from the CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) farm this week. Got 2 kinds of lettuce, fresh spinach, salad turnips (a cross between kohlrabi and radishes, yum!), and vitamin greens. Also hit the local farm stand for some strawberries which are out and oh SSSOOOOO good. I bought 6 quarts of them and made my first ever strawberry jam yesterday. The first batch came out perfect, the second is too runny, but hey I figure that will taste great on pancakes and popovers, so it's all good.

Well, I've got to put a call into Maestro's new school today. Gonna talk to the counselor about the gifted program for him. Can't wait to see what they have to offer. Until next time...
Peace to you,

~Peacemom

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Changes, exhaustion and Fiddling

Hi Everyone,
I know, I know, I've been gone forever. I'm getting it from all sides and everyone wanting to know what's up in my corner. I'm sorry I've been away, life has taken so many turns in the last month, it's impossible to keep it all straight.

The first and foremost thing to tell everyone is that we're moving. This has been a change we've been wanting to make for a while now and due to unforseen idiotic neighbor issues, we're feeling the time is right for many reasons. The most pressing reason is that Maestro will be starting first grade in the fall. To say that we live in a town with a great school system is an understatement, it's a great school system...for the average student. We have not been raising the average student, we've got a kindergartener that can read at a 5th grade level and can do math at around a 3rd grade level (or could easily if we taught him all the goodies he would be learning in third grade). I've been less then amused by the present school system's challenges. They just don't have anything in place for "gifted" students, which Maestro is considered to be (not our judgement, it's just the way it is). So, we wanted desperately to get him into a school system that would know what to do with his particular talents. The new school system has a program already in place for him, with peers instead of just meeting with an administrator for 15 minutes every month or so and them sending worksheets home for him to do. We already do that at home, along with much more then that, so to say I'm not amused is also an understatement. So, we feel he's got the best chance at an education that will challenge him at the new school.

One of the other big issues is that our neighbors have just gotten to be too much for us to take. After a blow up with the blow hard next door (NOT my normal course of action, I usually don't let people get to me that way), we've decided it was a great impetus to change for us since the situation in our home isn't going to change if we don't make it happen. They have a spineless landlord, tell him lots of lies and have no intention of leaving any time soon, so we're gonna be the ones to go. Which is okay since we feel it's a move in the right direction for us on so many levels. I'm thrilled with this change as it gets me closer to the rural life I love and also lands me in the same town as not only Brownie's farm (you'll remember that's where we get our milk and eggs) but also the CSA (community supported agriculture) farm we joined for our veggies. It makes my heart incredibly happy to be able to get those things even more local then we do now.

We found a great little ranch house on almost three acres. I get to have a garden and a clothesline and we have a lovely fireplace and lilac bush right outside our bedroom window. We walked over and met the new neighbors today and also found out that they have 3 and 5 year olds sons living there themselves, so our boys will have boys to play with that are almost the same age. It's a blessing for us on may levels and we're grateful and thankful for the opportunity to experience this place. We're renting the house and in turn renting our condex out until the market turns around enough for us to get out from under it. Don't want to lose all we've invested, so we're in the wait and see. Actually not 100% sure we're waiting, we've not completely arrived at that decision yet.

The exhaustion continues for me as getting up at the ungodly hour of 4:45 am is hard for me. I'm asleep very early in the evening most nights and feel like I never catch up on housework and kid time. But, I'm humbly doing the best I can to make it all work and now we get to pack and move in the process of this. Should be an interesting month!

The fiddling is in reference to Jenna Woginrich's blog. She's challenged everyone to learn to play the fiddle, a secret desire of mine for so long now. So, I may just take her up on it as she's got a whole group of people doing it together all around the country. Sounds fun and like I might make the time to do it if I just set my mind to it. I'm pondering it, but sure sounds like fun to me!

Gotta kiss the cherubs goodnight now. Peace and lilacs to you all, ~Peacemom